You Wanted To Ask About Marriage And Beyond

Why does the church teach that marriage is a sacrament?

The sacraments make Christ present in our midst. Like the other sacraments, marriage is not just for the good of individuals, or the couple, but for the community as a whole. The Catholic Church teaches that marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament. The Old Testament prophets saw the marriage of a man and woman as a symbol of the covenant relationship between God and his people. The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment between God and his people. The Letter to the Ephesians says that this union is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the Church.

Do Catholics ever validly enter into non-sacramental marriages?

Yes. Marriages between Catholics and non-Christians, while they may still be valid in the eyes of the Church, are non-sacramental. With permission, a priest or deacon may witness such marriages.

What is the difference between a valid and an invalid Catholic marriage?

Just as individual states have certain requirements for civil marriage (e.g., a marriage license, blood tests), the Catholic Church also has requirements before Catholics can be considered validly married in the eyes of the Church. A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children; and (4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by church authority.

If a Catholic wants to marry a non-Catholic, how can they assure that the marriage is recognized by the Church?

In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage (see question #3), the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this permission is called a “permission to enter into a mixed marriage.” If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called a “dispensation from disparity of cult.” Those helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with the permission process.

Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church?

For Catholics, marriage is not just a social or family event, but a church event. For this reason, the Church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.

If a Catholic wishes to marry in a place outside the Catholic church, how can he or she be sure that the marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church as valid?

The local bishop can permit a wedding in another church, or in another suitable place, for a sufficient reason. For example, a Catholic seeks to marry a Baptist whose father is the pastor of the local Baptist church. The father wants to officiate at the wedding. In these circumstances, the bishop could permit the couple to marry in the Baptist church. The permission in these instances is called a “dispensation from canonical form.”

If two Catholics or a Catholic and non-Catholic are married invalidly in the eyes of the church, what should they do about it?

They should approach their pastor and explain the situation. He can work with them to try to resolve it.

When a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, must the non-Catholic promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith?

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

Is it required that a wedding celebration have expensive flowers, clothes and other accompaniments?

The Rite of Marriage makes no reference to any of these cultural elements. The focus of the couple should be on the celebration of the sacrament. Pastors repeatedly point out that a couple do not have to postpone the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage because they cannot afford such things. See Budgeting for Your Wedding.

How much does it cost to get married in the Catholic Church?

Dioceses often regulate the stipend, or offering to the church, that is customary on the occasion of a wedding. Depending on different areas, this might also include the fee for the organist and vocalist. In a situation of true financial difficulty, couples can come to an agreement with their pastors so that true financial hardship will never prevent a Catholic marriage from taking place. For more information, see How Much Does it Cost to Marry in the Catholic Church?

What is a Nuptial Mass and when can a couple have one?

A Nuptial Mass is a Mass which includes the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. It has special readings and prayers suitable to the Sacrament of Marriage. The Sacrament of Marriage between two baptized Catholics should normally be celebrated within Mass.

If the situation warrants it and the local bishop gives permission, a Nuptial Mass may be celebrated for a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person who is not a Catholic, except that Communion is not given to the non-Catholic since the general law of the church does not allow it. In such instances, it is better to use the appropriate ritual for marriage outside Mass. This is always the case in a marriage between a baptized Catholic and a non-baptized person.

Marriage Preparation in the Catholic Church

What should a couple do when they decide they wish to marry in the Catholic Church?

They should contact their parish as soon as possible and make an appointment to talk with the priest, deacon or staff person who is responsible for preparing couples for marriage. This person will explain the process of marriage preparation and the various programs that are offered.

Why does the church require engaged couples to participate in a marriage preparation program?

Marriage preparation offers couples the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples to deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.

What kinds of marriage preparation programs does the church offer?

Depending on the diocese and the parish, several may be available. Programs include a weekend program with other couples, such as Catholic Engaged Encounter, a series of sessions in large or small groups or meetings with an experienced married couple. Some programs may be offered in Spanish and other languages. Specific programs address particular circumstances, such as remarriage, children brought into the marriage and marriage to a non-Catholic. As part of their preparation, many couples complete a premarital inventory, such as FOCCUS, to identify issues for further discussion.

What key issues are covered in marriage preparation?

Marriage preparation programs help couples to understand the Christian and the human aspects of marriage. Typical topics include: the meaning of marriage as a sacrament; faith, prayer and the church; roles in marriage; communication and conflict resolution; children, parenthood and Natural Family Planning; finances; and family of origin.

Is there a cost for marriage preparation programs?

Most programs charge a modest fee to cover the cost of materials. Programs that require an overnight stay will include an additional cost for rooms and meals. Assistance is frequently available for couples who would otherwise be unable to participate.

Marriage Enrichment and Support

Does the church offer any programs to help couples to improve their marriage?

Yes. Peer ministry for married couples is widespread. Many couples meet in parish-based small groups; ministries such as Teams of Our Lady, Couples for Christ, and Christian Family Movement also use the small group approach. The Marriage Enrichment Weekend Program is offered in several states. Some parishes sponsor a retreat day or evening of reflection for married couples. Others offer a mentoring system that matches older couples with younger ones. Throughout the country, many couples participate in Marriage Encounter, which offers a weekend experience and ongoing community support.

What can a couple do if their marriage is in trouble?

Parish priests, deacons and other pastoral ministers are available to talk to couples and to refer them to counselors and programs that can assist them. Retrouvaille (Ree-tru-VEYE) is an effective program that helps to heal and renew marriages in serious trouble. The Third Option is another program that is available in some parts of the country. For more information see Finding Help When Your Marriage Is In Trouble.

Annulments

What is an annulment?

An annulment is a declaration by a tribunal (Catholic church court) that a marriage thought to be valid according to Church law actually fell short of at least one of the essential elements required for a binding union (see question #3). Unlike civil divorce, an annulment does not erase something that was already there, but rather it is a declaration that a valid marriage was never actually brought about on the wedding day. A declaration of nullity does not deny that a relationship ever existed between the couple, or that the spouses truly loved one another.

How can a couple married 20 years get an annulment?

The annulment process examines the events leading up to, and at the time of, the wedding ceremony, in an effort to determine whether what was required for a valid marriage was ever brought about. While a marriage of 20 years provides evidence that a couple had some capacity for a life-long commitment, the duration of their relationship in itself does not prove or negate the existence of the marriage bond.

If a marriage is annulled are the children from it considered illegitimate?

No. A declaration of nullity has no effect on the legitimacy of children, since the child’s mother and father were presumed to be married at the time that the child was born.

Are annulments expensive?

Fees associated with the annulment process vary within the U.S. Most tribunals charge between $200 and $1,000 for a standard nullity case. Fees are typically payable over time, and may be reduced or even eliminated in cases of financial difficulty. Other expenses may be incurred when consultation with medical, psychological, or other experts is needed.

How long does it take to get an annulment?

It usually takes 12 to 18 months to complete the entire process.

My Mom's Recipe For Peas Nimona

If you are not from Northern India then you may not have heard of the dish peas nimona. It is very special Indian curry recipe from the ghats of Varanasi. Banarasi cuisine is very distinct from the different parts of UP like Lucknow. Pea Nimona is dish that is typically made in Kashi. 

Besides, this Indian curry recipe is a speciality of my mom. Since Mother's Day is just a couple of days away, I would like to dedicate this peas nimona recipe to my mom. This dish comprises of potatoes in a gravy of ground peas. It is very easy to make if you follow this recipe from my mother's kitchen closely.

Procedure Grind the fresh green peas coarsely in a mixer. Keep it aside. Grind the onion, ginger, garlic, cumin powder, coriander powder, pepper powder, green chillies and salt into a smooth paste. Keep it aside. Now heat 1tbsp of oil in a pan and fry the potato pieces for about 3-4 minutes till they turn golden brown. Once done transfer it in a container. Heat oil in the same pan and add all the ingredients for tempering one by one. 

Fry for 2-3 minutes on medium flame. Add ginger-garlic paste and saute for about a minute. Now add the masala paste you prepared and cook for 3 minutes on low flame. Add the tomatoes and cook for another 5 minutes. Add turmeric powder, salt, sugar and garam masala powder. Cook for about 2 minutes. Now add the ground peas and mix well. Add water and stir for about 3 minutes. Add the fried potatoes, cover the pan and cook on low flame for another 8-10 minutes. Once done, open the lid and sprinkle garam masala powder.

Health Tips for Teachers

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” We have some excellent health tips for teachers, so they may continue to the do the great work they’re doing.

Teaching is indeed a noble and rewarding profession. It requires devotion, patience and a lot of sacrifice – all directed towards shaping future generations. It can also be a particularly stressful profession, as teachers are dealing with students with varying personalities everyday, not to mention being constantly monitored by their superiors and being compared with their peers.

As a thank you to all the wonderful teachers out there, we have some practical health tips that’ll help them stay mentally and physically fit, while continuing to do excellent work.

Health Tips for Teachers:
1. Learn to deal with stress. In India, most teachers handle classrooms that can have anywhere between 15 to 60 children! This can be extremely stressful and it’s important to recognise and deal with this stress. Every morning, try and take some time out to centre and calm your mind. You can do this through yoga or meditation. This will help you better deal with all the challenges the day throws up.

2. Share. Another way of dealing with work problems is by sharing them with your colleagues. Do not feel ashamed. They’ve probably gone through similar issues and can help you with solutions.

3. Create your personal goals. It’s easy to get caught up in completing the school curriculum. Take some time to create your own professional goals. This will help you stay focussed.

4. Get plenty of rest. If you’re in a profession that needs to you to wake up early and stay on your feet throughout, you cannot afford to skimp on your sleep. Avoid the temptation to correct answer papers late at night and make sure you sleep well.

5. Eat well, especially breakfast. A hearty and healthy breakfast and plenty of sleep will not only give you the energy to keep going through the day, it will also ensure you are cheerful and more equipped to handle any temperamental student that might come your way.

6. Wash your hands frequently. Schools, especially junior classes, can be a hotbed for passing on infections. One sick kid comes in and soon half the class, including the teacher, is down with the same thing. Keep yourself protected by washing your hands between classes or carrying hand sanitizer toward off germs.

7. Get comfortable shoes. You’re on your feet all day. Naturally, comfortable shoes that provide good support and cushioning become all-important.

8. Don’t work during your lunch hour. For your mental peace, use your lunch hour to eat well, catch up with colleagues or read or knit or do anything other than work.

9. Exercise regularly. The thing with exercise is that the more active you are, the more energy you’ll have. Make sure you take time out of your busy schedule to do at least 30 minutes of concerted exercise everyday.

10. Take a small break everyday. Many teachers suggest taking a few minutes for yourself at least once a day. Away from the students, principal, and most definitely away from any negative characters you might have in school. Just a few minutes for yourself, where you can take a deep breath, get rejuvenated and get back to teaching.

Wishing all you wonderful teachers out there a Very Happy Teacher’s Day!

These Top Tips to Sleep Better Tonight

If you’re struggling to sleep well at night, follow these top tips to help you put down that glass of warm milk and ditch the sheep counting.

1. Set a regular bedtime
Go to bed at the same time every day. Simple. Like children, we need routines to tell our bodies when it’s time to shut down.
Choose a time when you normally feel tired so you don’t toss and turn.
If you need to change the time, do it slowly over a few nights with 15 minute increments.

2. Wake up at the same time
Likewise with bedtime, you need a regular time to get out of bed sleepyhead. Try and maintain this even at weekends.
If you are getting enough sleep, you should wake naturally without the help of an alarm clock. Adjust your bedtime accordingly.

3. No shame in a nap
If you have a late night, top up your sleep bank by squeezing in a power nap in the day as opposed to having a lie in.
The ideal time to nap is early afternoon and for no more than 30 minutes.

4. Don’t fall asleep on the couch
A decision to nap is different to just dozing all the time.
If you find yourself falling asleep in front of the telly, or worse, at your desk - get up and do something else to wake yourself up. Make a phone call, go for a walk, do that pile of washing – whatever it is, try to stick to your sleep timetable.

5. Expose yourself to more light during the day
Melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone to help you regulate your sleep pattern. It is controlled by light exposure and your brain should secrete more during the evening to help you nod off.
Help your brain out by getting outside, without sunglasses, in your lunch break or walk into work in the morning.
At night, keep it dark by turning off your TV or computer while you try and go to sleep.

6. Make your bedroom a sanctuary
A comfortable bedroom means a cosy night’s sleep. Keep the rool cool, make sure your bed is roomy with nice clean sheets and keep the noise to a minimum.
Your bed should be for sleep and sex only. If you associate it with anything else like working, your body will not get the message that it’s time to switch off.

7. Adjust your evening meal
Stay away from big meals in the evening. Don’t eat heavy, rich food 2 hours before bed and fatty foods take a lot of work for your stomach to digest, which will keep you up.
Alcohol in the evening will reduce your sleep quality and whilst you might think it will help you to fall asleep, it wil probably wake you up in the middle of the night.

Yoga Help With Back Pain

yoga help with chronic back pain?  Yes it does, but so does stretching.  Either is better than handing people a book, according to the largest U.S. randomized controlled trial of yoga to date.

In the trial, 228 adults in six cities in western Washington state were randomly assigned to 12 weekly 75-minute classes of either yoga or stretching exercises or a comprehensive self-care book called "The Back Pain Helpbook". Nine in 10 of them were primary-care patients at Group Health Cooperative and participants in the trial typically had moderate, but not severe, back pain and relatively good mental health. Most had been at least somewhat active before the trial started.

The class participants received instructional videos and were encouraged to practice at home for 20 minutes a day between their weekly classes. Interviewers who didn't know the patients' treatment assignments assessed their back-related function and pain symptoms at six weeks, 12 weeks, and six months.

"We found yoga classes more effective than a self-care book—but no more effective than stretching classes," said study leader Karen J. Sherman, PhD, MPH, a senior investigator at Group Health Research Institute. Back-related function was better and symptoms were diminished with yoga at 12 weeks; and clinically important benefits, including less use of pain medications, lasted at least six months for both yoga and stretching, with thorough follow-up of more than nine in 10 participants.

In 2005, Sherman and her colleagues conducted a smaller study that found yoga effective for easing chronic low back pain. "In our new trial," she said, "we wanted both to confirm those results in a larger group and to see how yoga compared to a different form of exercise of comparable physical exertion: stretching.

"We expected back pain to ease more with yoga than with stretching, so our findings surprised us," Sherman said. "The most straightforward interpretation of our findings would be that yoga's benefits on back function and symptoms were largely physical, due to the stretching and strengthening of muscles."

But the stretching classes included a lot more stretching than in most such classes, with each stretch held for a relatively long time. "People may have actually begun to relax more in the stretching classes than they would in a typical exercise class," she added. "In retrospect, we realized that these stretching classes were a bit more like yoga than a more typical exercise program would be." So the trial might have compared rather similar programs with each other.

"Our results suggest that both yoga and stretching can be good, safe options for people who are willing to try physical activity to relieve their moderate low back pain," Sherman concluded. "But it's important for the classes to be therapeutically oriented, geared for beginners, and taught by instructors who can modify postures for participants' individual physical limitations."

5 Bad Foods That Can Be Turned In To Muscle Building Food

Comfort foods are so tasty most of the time, but they don’t do anything for you health wise. Most of them are packed full of fat and carbs. But, with a few easy tweaks, just about any food can be transformed into good stuff that satisfies your nutritional needs and your tastebuds.

Nachos

Just 13 corn chips contain a whopping 120 calories and 6 g fat. You haven’t yet ladled on the cheese, the spiced hamburger mixture, or the sour cream. When you do that and you’re putting at least 26 g saturated fat into your mouth. Add some pickled jalapeño-pepper slices and you’re getting a day’s worth of sodium in this 1,129-calorie pile of chips.

How to make it better: Start with baked corn chips, add cooked pinto beans for fiber, and use reduced-fat sharp Cheddar and lean ground round. Top with some diced tomatoes and diced fresh jalapeño peppers. This concoction is leaner, tastier, and way better for you.

Fish and Chips

Basically there’s fat everywhere in this one. The breaded and fried fish, the greasy potatoes, and the creamy coleslaw, all are horrible for you.

How to make it better: Try pan-seared salmon for a healthy dose of cholesterol-lowering omega-3 fats and a potential brain boost. Roasted potato wedges sprayed with a little olive oil are infinitely better than fat-soaked deep fried “chips.” Grab a bag of finely chopped coleslaw makings at the grocery store and use either low-fat mayonnaise or a tangy vinegar-and-oil dressing.

Pizza

There is a huge calorie count that comes mainly from simple carbs and saturated fat.

How to make it better: Opt for a thin crust, use half the cheese, and replace the pepperoni or sausage with chicken breast, a lean protein that has just 1 g fat per ounce. A little barbecue sauce is okay for you too.  The chicken gives you more muscle-building protein and a ratio of protein to fat that better satisfies the appetite. Add some sliced onions, peppers, and mushrooms to crank up a little fiber and some immune-boosting allicin to round out the pie.

Grilled Cheese Sandwich

The 18 g saturated fat you take in from the butter and slabs of oily cheese is awful for you. And the white bread that you’re using is pointless.

How to make it better: Use whole-wheat bread with part-skim mozzarella in between. Crisp it in a skillet moistened with a little olive oil. To protect your prostate, add a couple of tomato slices. Throw in a slice or two of some lean ham or turkey breast. That will help get the protein count, keeping you feeling fuller for longer.

Burger

Ground beef has a ton of fat in it and that white-bread bun offers little but rapidly digested simple sugars.

How to make it better: Start with extra-lean ground beef. Chop up some onions and thawed frozen spinach and mix them into the beef. The vegetables add vitamins and replace some of the moisture lost when you switched to leaner ground beef. Better yet, build those burgers with grass-fed beef or lean ground buffalo, at roughly 4 grams (g) of fat per 4 ounces. Add some lettuce and tomato to get some more vegetables in your diet. Top it all off with a whole-wheat bun for some fiber. Boom, you have a delicious burger that is good for you as well.

8 Things You Must Never Tell Your Boss

Your boss is not this super human entity. You have very humane relationship with your boss just like you have with your other colleagues. It is also possible to be friendly with your boss. However, there are certain things you should never tell your boss. Office rules command that you must maintain a comfortable distance with your boss. Your boss can be your friend, but you cannot discuss everything with him or her.

I am looking for a job change You must never tell your boss that you are looking for a job change until and unless you are giving your resignation. Your boss must be formally intimated that you plan to leave the company. I am late because I partied last night We often tell our friends about our wild parties when we are struggling with hangover the next day.

But you cannot tell your boss that you are sleepy at work because you partied last night. I am pregnant Don't tell your boss that you are pregnant until you can hide it. While some bosses are cooperative, others might find this as an excuse to find faults with your work or even get you fired. I am expecting X percentage of increment Never tell your boss beforehand that you are expecting a certain percentage of increment.

You must write this down officially in the appraisal form. If I don't get a promotion I'll leave We do tell out friends that unless we get a good salary hike, we plan to quit our jobs. But if you say that your boss, he or she will get insecure. They might assume you would leave anyway and not give you a salary hike. My friend has a crush on you Never tell your boss any intimate or embarrassing details.

For example, you cannot tell your boss that your friend from another team finds him/her hot. You are wearing a terrible shirt today You cannot comment on the dressing sense of your boss. This is because your boss is not your equal and his/her ego can never take criticism from you. The company policies are terrible We all have complain against our bizarre company policies. But this is something that you can never tell your boss. You never know if your boss had a hand in making the company policies. Office rules demand that you must never tell certain things to your boss. What are the things that you never tell your boss.

Read more at: http://www.boldsky.com/insync/pulse/2013/things-never-tell-your-boss-033022.html